When I Hear The Words `` Eating Disorder, So Many Things...

When I hear the words â€Å"Eating Disorder†, so many things go through my head. A sort of obsession around the topic has plagued my brain since I was thirteen years old. As a twenty-one year old, I can now recognize where it all went wrong, how a lot of minor meal constrictions turned into a full blown illness. As long as I can remember I have always been weird about food, not wanting it to touch, not trying new things or eating anything with sauce on it. When I began eighth grade this became the most apparent. Middle school is a weird time, half of your friends are turning into women, while some are still girls in the eyes of doctors. Regardless, everyone thinks that this time period is the end of the world. During my eighth grade year, my†¦show more content†¦High school was no easier than middle school, it just brought cars, boys and more intense extracurricular activities. At this point in my story, I was continuing trying to restrict my diet, but kept giving in . I didn’t understand how some girls could completely stop eating, but I couldn’t keep it going for more than a few days. This is when I resorted to diet pills. I was around fifteen, so I couldn’t legally buy them from CVS, but I could order them online with a debit card. I remember receiving my first package of Oxi Elite Pro (now discontinued for causing liver failure), my mom wanted to know what was inside the package, but I convinced her it was a sample of Bert’s Bee’s body lotion. After the diet pills began, I became addicted to losing weight. The diet pills kept me from feeling super hungry, so I could finally see I was losing weight. I began compulsively weighing myself, probably up to five times a day. However, once I began running low on the pills, with no income, I needed something else. When I was sixteen, I got my first job. I remember being beyond excited to start making my own money and have extra money for gas. The girls I worked wit h at work often talked about diets and cleanses, as many girls do. However, given that I was already falling into a dark hole, I probably should have removed myself from the situation. When work would get slow, I would look the calories up in certain foods we served. I began being able to recite